The 4 Parenting Myths I Wont Buy From a Working Mom of 17 Years

The 4 Parenting Myths I Wont Buy From a Working Mom of 17 Years After 17 years as a working mom, I see my biggest job as bringing up my two sons and making them responsible, ethical adults who contribute to the future of the world.On a day-to-day basis, though, this mostly involves cooking for them, driving them around, cleaning up after them and always remembering how much I love them. Im fortunate to have a great partner in crime in my husband, and he helps create an environment of gender neutrality at home daddy cooking doesnt signify a special occasion, for instance. Add to this an employer that empowers you, as well as management that values your contributions, and what you have is a team of indispensable allies for working moms like me who want to keep their sanity.Today, as a product management leader at Continental AG, I work with global teams. Sometimes this means my day begins at 5 a.m., and otherbeis, it means I start late and schliff work in the evening. Flexibility is a two-way street, and I have been fortunate that my employer affords me the opportunity to enjoy my life with my family while also having a fulfilling career. With my oldest heading to college this fall and a middle schooler that grows mora independent by the day, Im at a bittersweet (but also enviable) juncture of my life as a mother.Myth 1 Having it all is possible.You can achieve anything if you work hard enough to get it. But having it all? Thats a different storyInstead, one must learn to prioritize ruthlessly. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. Until the day comes when you can clone yourself to be at the work dinner, soccer practice and orchestra recital at the same time something must give. Set your guilt aside. And dont compare yourself to that mother from school yes, we all havethatone. The one who is on the school board, feeds her kids veggies grown in her own garden, jets off to New York on Tuesday for a conference and then is off to Napa Valley for her monthly geta way with her husband. Congratulate her. And then think about a duck it looks so calm and peaceful floating on the surface, but under the water, its treading its feet furiously to keep afloat. You are no duck mom youve learned to say no when its needed and say yes to staying sane. And youll be surprised by how good the Napa Valley wine sold at your local grocers tastes when the kids are in bed and you and your husband can sip it under the stars in your own sweet, sweet backyard. Napa can wait.Myth 2 You must be perfect to raise good kids.Kids are very forgiving. You are the soccer mom that cant sign up to coach all season, but you can be the mom thats responsible for the team banner. I have done both, and trust me, making the banner with my kid and his teammates was way mora fun than running the drills.Some nights, the dinner table wont cover all the food groups the way it should. As hard as it is to believe, missing that one serving of carrots and broccoli is not going to break yo ur kid. A stressed-out parent is far more harmful. Being human, you will mess up many times. Be kind to yourself. Be nice to your spouse. There is a lesson there, too, for your kids. People make mistakes, but what truly matters is resilience. You get up, brush your boo-boo off, and do better the next time.Myth 3 True love is sacrifice.Motherhood does not translate to self-sacrifice. Being a martyr makes everyone unhappy in the end. You might be leaving the kids at home and working because you are forced to. You might be a mom who feels your job rounds off your personality and fulfills you. Either way, you do the best you can, and your kids will learn that its OK to follow their passion.Time is a precious commodity, and the sooner you learn to make what you have count instead of fretting about details, the more you will thrive. Your kids will learn to be more independent and appreciative of what you bring to the table, too. And what theyll love you for is being there for them, heari ng them out, accepting them the way they are, and for the memories you make with them. Theyre not counting the number of hours you spend with them in a day.Myth 4 Love begins and ends with mom.While the love of a mother for her child remains unchallenged as the most powerful form of unconditional love, there are plenty of other forms of it. Sometimes, it does take a village to raise your kids. Get help and seek favors.You will be pleasantly surprised at the influence a non-parent adult can bring into your kids life. Grandparents, uncles and aunts bring in a different kind of love. The kids will share things they might not want to share with you. Your friendly neighbor can be your sons surrogate grandma who babysits on the evening youre running late from work. Your sons friends mother that phenomenal woman who stays at home dedicating her life to shaping and caring for her family can offer a playdate on an afternoon when school ends early. Learn to deal with it when your child thin ks the world of her homemade brownies.Ultimately, motherhood is hard work. Managing a career alongside it doesnt make it simpler. On the days when you think you cant land one more airplane filled with mushy peas and carrots into your 2-year-olds mouth and just want to hide and sleep call your mother. She will tell you that the apple doesnt fall far from the tree, and that you were a picky eater at age 2, too, but turned out alright. Plus, shell tell you the best way to get the carrot stain out of your favorite work blouse.This too shall pass. Believe her mother knows the best. And if you are truly lucky, you might find a delicious care package at your doorstep three days later. Enjoy it. You have earned it.--Fairygodboss is proud to partner with Continental.